Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Where has the last year gone?

I have not posted in so long but have been meaning to! We have had not a lot going on, but quite a bit at the same time, if that makes sense! First of all, today and tomorrow are big days in the Clem/Hynniman/Busby family! My adorable niece, Halle, turned one today! I went over tonight and she and Rhae were so silly together, and then when I got ready to leave I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder. I held her the EXACT same way I did one year ago tonight and it took all I had not to bust out the tears! I love my own children with an aching deep down inside of me and never thought I could love another child as much as I do my own, but Halle has proved me wrong! I always knew I would love her, even before she was a possiblity, but I think maybe the bond I created with her the day she was born (not knowing what would happen with my own child) is much stronger than I ever thought because of what I was going through. I have not been able to spend the time I have wanted to with her over the last year, but I hope she will always know her Sissy will always be her #1 fan!

The other big day is tomorrow! Rhae will be a year old! It is hard to believe that one year ago tomorrow, at this exact time, I was just coming out of surgery and getting to see my family and friends for the first time since my daughter was born and was alive! It's also the time that I was able to talk to Mandy on the phone and inform her that Rhae was alive and doing well. There are several things from the last year that I am hazy about, but that night is still burned in my memory like it was yesterday. For those of you who don't know, may not remember, or just want to be reminded, here's the rundown of what happened...I had been at the hospital all day with Mandy, Darrin, and Halle, trying to support them as much as possible and also to get as much time with Halle as possible, since I only had a week before Rhae was supposed to be born, and from there, we didn't know what would happen. I had felt good all day. I had felt very few contractions--actually less than I normally did. At 5:55 pm, I was helping Mandy try to get Halle to latch on and breastfeed and she finally did. I was going to wait until she finished, then clip Halle's nails and go home. While standing by the bed with Mandy and Halle, I felt sort of a small pop and trickle, but honestly thought it was just that whole baby kicked my bladder thing. Well, a few minutes later, I figured I probably needed to try and empty my bladder. When I sat down, I realized my water had broke (which makes my next statement kind of funny--I guess I was scared). I walked out of the bathroom, glad to see Halle still eating, and told Mandy and Darrin, "Umm...we've got a little problem. I think my water just broke." Mandy freaked, wanted Darrin to take me home, started calling everybody, etc. I decided I would walk around to Labor and Delivery and have a friend check me before we started our 2 hour trek to Birmingham. Well, when she did check me, I was grossly ruptured, contracting regularly, and 5cm dilated. After a long discussion with the doctor about delivering here vs. going by ambulance to Birmingham with the chance Rhae would probably be born in route, we finally started some medicine to stop my contractions and headed to B'ham. I was 6cm when we got there, and within 30 minutes, I was headed to surgery, still not knowing whether my daughter would live or not. My wonderful doctor took great care of me and it didn't hit me how scared and nervous I was until he told me he was making the first cut. I think that made it extremely real all of a sudden! Well, Rhae came out at 10:31pm screaming her head off! It was a glorious sound! She cried for the next several hours, and it still bothers me to this day that I'm pretty sure she was broken and nobody picked up on it until a month later looking at x-rays. But, she did better and better every day, and came home 6 days later! The last year has been trying none the less, but has been so glorious! My life has taken on new meaning and I've learned to slow down and smell the roses...not to take things for granted...to love like I never knew how before! I've said it before and I'll say it again...I know it's so Jerry Maguire-ish, but she completes me! I never knew a part of me was missing until Rhae came home. She's just proof that God is in control and always knows what he is doing!! I could go on and on about Rhae, but most of you know how I feel and how special she is to everyone she meets! Rhae is now pulling herself across the floor, along with rolling. She wears out very easily, but is getting so strong doing it! She is quite the meany, and thinks it is funny. I told her "no" the other day and she looked at me like I was crazy. I then popped her little hand and she just laughed at me. I popped it again...same thing! She thinks it's funny! How in the world am I going to discipline a child who is destined to be bad when I'm scared I'm going to break her? :)

Aidan FINALLY lost his first tooth Saturday night! He was so proud and even more proud of the $5 the tooth fairy left. Apparently everybody is suffering from inflation! He has another one that will come out soon. Saturday night, I asked him how much he thought his tooth was worth and he told me $800. I don't know if he has found something he wants or what, but when my stepdaddy asked him how much money he thought he should send him, he also said $800! Momma called the next day and said if I needed a loan I should just ask and not put Aidan up to it! :) He's played 2 baseball games so far and has another one tomorrow. He is getting a little better with each game. This is his first year to play machine pitch and for some reason, has the hardest time hitting from the machine, but if you throw it to him, he can hit it...go figure! He's heading to the zoo tomorrow with his grade and is very excited! We went to the same zoo a few years ago with him and he had a ball! He loves animals, so I know tomorrow will be a lot of fun, especially with his friends and his Nana there (she's also a Kindergarten teacher). He is becoming such a polite young man and is the best big brother! He loves Rhae so much and will often tell me he is so glad God decided to give him a sister instead of the brother he wanted!


And, for those of you who don't know what's going on with me, I decided to start my own business last week. It's called The Busy Bee and I custom make several monogrammed (not embroidered) items like cups, mugs, mousepads, sippy cups, window decals, wall decals, etc, and also offer many monogrammed gift items and purses. I don't expect to make a ton of money (though I wouldn't mind it) but mainly started to make myself feel more productive, as I miss that part of my life. I always felt productive as a nurse and miss that feeling! So far, it's been pretty nice being productive again! Hopefully I can find some time soon to get some better pics of my stuff up soon!



We are getting closer to Omaha, so please pray that everything will turn out good and we will have safe travel. Also Rhae has been very uncomfortable for the last week or so, so please pray that it doesn't get worse. I have a friend with an OI child who is having difficulty in her life right now. Please pray that things turn around for her. She desperately needs things to come together right now. There is a new family also that I have connected with who's daughter was born in December with OI. She has been taken away from them on abuse charges and they are struggling with the new diagnosis, separation, and the unknown. Please pray for "the system" to see this family has not harmed their child and to reunite them soon! Also, Ethan Desai was born after what seems like such a long wait this week and is doing great! Take the time to thank God for this miracle!