Sunday, December 14, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. Can you believe Christmas is almost here? This is absolutely my favorite time of the year, not only for the meaning behind Christmas, but also because everything is always so beautiful at Christmas. I wish I could leave my tree up all year long! This year I have so much more to be happy about here at Christmastime.

Today has been sort of a bittersweet day for me. I looked at the clock this morning at 2:15 and realized it was December 14th. Exactly one year ago today, we got our first indication that something was wrong with our baby. She didn't even have a name yet, though we had thrown some around. I had not been feeling good for 2 days, and finally, at 4:30 that Friday afternoon, I called the doctor to let him know I was having some contractions and just didn't feel good in general, but I didn't want to go to Labor and Delivery to be monitored--basically I was only worried because it was 4:30 on Friday afternoon. He told me to go to the office to get checked out. I had an ultrasound that afternoon, though my complaints didn't normally warrant one. The technician noted that the baby's legs were measuring about 6 weeks behind what they should. I was devasted. I really didn't know how to process what I had been told. I came home and went to bed, as they wanted me on bed rest for the weekend. Aidan's birthday party was the next day, and Dr. Chu called me on my cell phone during the party to tell me he had looked at the US and there was indeed a big difference and he would get me an appointment in Birmingham for the next week. I told a few people that day what we had been told, but not everybody. We wouldn't find out for sure that anything was wrong until the 19th, though, when I had my targeted US in Birmingham. Jennifer and I went up that day and the possibility of OI was mentioned, but I think in my heart, I knew that's what it was. I felt like my world was crashing down around me. The night before, Jay and I had decided on the name Martha Rhae. I wanted my baby to have an identity if I found out something bad the next day. We had thrown around several names, but finally decided that no matter what happened, she needed a very special name. Martha was my wonderful grandmother's name who passed away in May 2007. I couldn't think of any other name that meant more to me than that. Rhae is after Jay's daddy, who died before Jay was born. His middle name was Ray, so we feminized the spelling and went with that. Now, all of a sudden my child had what I thought was the most beautiful name in the world. It had meaning and substenance, and having a name made her more real to me. Little did I know that giving her the name Martha would lead to her ultimate overall wellbeing and personality (for those of you who knew Granny, Rhae is SO much like her!) Everybody pretty much knows the rest of the story from there, but today will always be...I don't know what to call it...not bad or sad, or happy, but just a day that changed my life forever. You never expect to hear anything is wrong with YOUR child...that happens to other people. But, I am now that other person. Decemeber 14th is the day I got the worse news of my life, but also the day my life took on new meaning. The day I was humbled. The day my precious Martha Rhae began her testimony.

I know I have a lot of catch up posting to do, and I will when I get time. I need to post some pics from Christmas on the River and from Aidan's "friend" birthday party Friday night. My baby is going to be 6 years old on Tuesday--where does the time go???

I also want to take this time to say a very special thank you to someone. I received a Christmas card in the mail yesterday with no return address and no name signed on the inside. I only know 2 things about who sent it...(1) They are good, Christian people, and (2) they read my blog. Since I have no other way of telling you, I'll tell you here...Thank you! Your heartwarming card brought me to tears (and has everytime I have read it, which is many), and means so much to me. I don't even know if I know you, but you have definitely put a bright spot in my heart. Thank you.

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